shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize