pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize