Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
