Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
