A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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