Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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