woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ttyl tear gas
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
