New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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