found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
