Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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