After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
