FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
