people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
