Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
this will be a night to untag.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
