Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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