You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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