And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
