I got chris browned last night
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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