dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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