he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
