How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
