Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
