buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
