you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
