I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Small penises have feelings too.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
