you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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