there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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