Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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