i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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