So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
