I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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