My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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