I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Actions speak louder than pants.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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