Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
