guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
