how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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