i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
