bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
