i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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