He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
