Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
