i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Small penises have feelings too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
