I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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