It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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