do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
