He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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