My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
