im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is it penis luge time yet?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
