Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
