is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
