oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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