i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
