HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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