I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
