Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
